We don’t always want to be relaxed.
In fact, MOST of the time, we don’t want to be relaxed. Because “relaxed” doesn’t get things done. What we usually mean when we say “relaxed,” is Not Straining. We only strain when we try to do something that we don’t know how to do easily, and so we substitute “efforting” and will-power in place of ease and power.
Here’s a real-life example.
I know a gent I used to work with who was a true master of the heavy garden shears. You know, those big over-sized scissors-from-hell that you use to lop tree branches off with?
He can lop branches for hours. But he’s no muscle-bound hulk. Holding the nozzle to a power-washer? Oh, no, buddy. Holding the nozzle to a power-washer? That’s exhausting!
Doesn’t seem to add up, does it? On the one hand, hard manual labor. On the other, literally no harder than watering your lawn.
That’s because it’s not really about relaxation. It’s about how well-organized you are to perform a specific task. I mean, let’s be real — nobody chops through two-inch thick branches while relaxed. As anybody who’s gardened can tell you, that’s work. But my friend can do it with no perception of strain or effort. He’s effortlessly powerful with heavy garden shears.
You can have relatively high levels of muscle tone for a long time, so long as your body isn’t fighting mixed signals. That’s why you see people who do heavy manual labor (warehouse workers, furniture movers, construction workers), who then go and work out or play sports in the evening, because they have plenty of energy and feel lazy if they don’t.
They’re well-organized for their daily tasks. And that means they bring more of themselves home to their friends and family at night, not because they haven’t worked…. but because they haven’t STRAINED.
If you want to feel relaxed, yet be powerful enough that you totally own all the things you need to do in your day… you need to learn to take the strain out. And I’ll be happy to help you learn how.